On Political Apathy

Watching "The Power of Nightmares," reading "Days of War, Nights of Love," and losing hope for social change. Not only have the powers that be come to be through self-justifying myths and outright fabrications turned canonical tenets, a book that purports to be the first shot in the final war for life on earth reads as though written by nineteen year-old cavedwellers who slunk away from the challenge of college and need to justify their adolescent anger. Yes, there are some great points, but the points are mis-representations or generalizations or simple restatements of long-standing philosophies, and, at least in the first three-quarters of the book, the authors attack alternate philosophies without recognizing that they themselves rely on the same loopholes and social movements they abhor.

Reading this book is in many ways like listening to my dad talk politics--he's quite conservative and gets himself worked most of the way to hypertesnsion at the personal injustice and criminality of governmental acts (but only when perpetrated by liberals, somehow; programs like the PATRIOT ACT are forward-looking acts from benign and intelligent conspiracy-busters looking out for our long-term well-being). What gets me is not that his arguments are so biased or his politics so separate from mine, it's that he has such personal investment in government--by the people and for the people refers directly to him. I can't fathom such investment in politics or government. And the authors are disaffected nihilists making blanket claims about the absolute evils of the forces directing our culture, and the prospect of anarchy is supposed to be hope-inducing, yet the ideas for reconstruction fill the same old grooves with fresh-colored ooze. And still, they're all worked up over this that or the other thing in the White House.

I feel heathenish saying it, like I'm undermining the social movements that protected the freedoms paved through American history, but how am I supposed to believe in the political process? Consider: when I was old enough to study American history and government, the Clinton/Lewinsky thing blew up; I didn't have the tools to filter out exactly what or why or how it was being couched, but I did understand that the President had done something bad. (Yet since then....) My first opportunity to vote (left wing) came in 2000. Then I had the Valintine's Day protests, the California gubernatorial shindig, the 2004 elections, and finally saw what seemed to be a legitimate election (based less on fear tactics or deception, at least) in 2008. The most political involvement I've ever felt was opening a bottle of wine for the mayor, then having her recognize me later and in a completely different context. But should that make me involved in the political process? In the decisions that shape the rules governing my life in culture?

Really, why get worked up? Especially over national issues when those responsible for the governmental policies I like least have entrenched themselves behind crowds of believers; rationalize, reason, fight, or harangue as much as I want, nobody who doesn't want to change his mind ever will. So the legacy of fear is here to stay.

And while I know I should keep a view of the bigger picture, the long-term impact of a political action, it's hard to do so while receiving rejections for even menial entry-level jobs and loan repayment notices for nine years of college. Great, the government is or isn't watching me, watching out for me, or ensuring taxation for all of the generations to follow; I still can't find a full-time job or compile enough part-time jobs to pay the bills. Yeah, health care would be nice, but not when I'm concerned about affording groceries.

Given that I've seen how much my individual voice matters, even when I'm joined with a seeming majority of the country/world, when my insurance policy is to not get sick because even if I had insurance I would not be able to make the deductible, am I really expected to drop my immediate concerns over keeping food in the fridge and light in the house?

Yeah! Go health care reform! Maybe, after it passes, I'll have enough money to buy ink and print off more resumes. What's that? I have to pay a premium? Well, in that case, break out the cutback dice--do I skip turning on the lights, the oven, drying clothes, or buying produce? Right, what's that new policy? Why are we getting all worked up about it?